Happy Birthday Dad.

So, today is my Dad's 49th Birthday. I only wish he was here to celebrate it. Before he passed away, I had thought about throwing him a 50th birthday party, after hearing about how other people did that for their parents. He probably would have been mad at us for spending the money on him and making a big deal, but in the end I think he would have appreciated it.

Since my birthday is exactly 2 weeks before my Dad's, we always celebrated them together at Grandma's. Now I feel as though I lost my birthday partner. And I am squeezed in with the May-June birthdays.

It's been a rough year. I hate life without my Dad. Without him, my mom has been given free reign (and money) to let out the crazy. My sister and brother no longer speak, and I am forever trapped in the middle of every argument. Most of the time, I feel like I have no family. The only person that took the time to mail a birthday card was my best friend, Emily. My Dad never forgot my Birthday, his card always arrived on time, and his checks never bounced.

Are birthdays one more thing I'm going to have to add to my list of things to hate?

So Happy Birthday Dad, I hope you know how much I miss you.